The Sex Files

Once I finished my last blog (which was about marriage), it immediately came to me to do a blog about the Christian perspective of sex. I was a little hesitant at first, but as I thought about it more, I knew it was needed. If you have not read it yet, go back and read my blog "The Perspective of the Christian Newlywed”. It will give you a foundation on the type of morals and standards committed Christ followers have when it comes to marriage.

The marriage relationship between a husband and wife is supposed to be a picture of how Christ loves the church (or the people) and every aspect of marriage is supposed to reflect the love between Jesus and people. This means the physical, emotional, and spiritual acts of a husband and wife can and should reflect the type of love Jesus Christ shows to us. As a reminder from my last blog, the way Jesus Christ showed His love for the church was that He laid down His life for us. He sacrificed Himself for us, loves us when we least deserve it, and never gives up on us. THIS is the kind of love a husband and wife should show each other! Sacrificial, honorable, selfless, and unconditional love.

Unfortunately, the world has made sex a commodity, completely degrading the beauty of what it is meant to be. Through movies, shows, the music industry, pornography, and even the horrors of sex trafficking, the world has destroyed the true meaning of sex. Sex is not just a physical high. It is a deep experience that connects you with another human being that affects you on all levels- physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

Just like my previous blog, I'm going to list some points on the perspective of the Christian when it comes to sex. First, let me lay the foundation for my views on sex: 1) everything I believe about sex and marriage is taken straight out of the bible. So as I am sharing these views, I am really just relaying what I believe God says about marriage and sex. 2) I believe sex is only to be expressed within the context of marriage between one genetic male, and one genetic female. Obviously, we live in a culture that does not agree with Christian beliefs, but as a Christian, I cannot wavier on my own convictions. So, with the framework set, let’s being with point 1:

  1. God loves sex.

We need to know that God loves sex- It was His design! BUT He loves it within HIS context and HIS guidelines. God created us and has wired us for a specific way of living. He knows that the more partners we have, the more heartbreak we experience. As we give ourselves away, there is a part of our dignity that is stripped from us. Sex is to be enjoyed and celebrated within Gods parameters, and when you experience sex within His parameters, it will be the most fulfilling experience you will have with sexual intimacy. The world makes us believe that the only fulfilling experiences we could have is will multiple different people. This is a lie! The more people you give yourself away, the more heartbreak, drama, and insecurity you will experience.

2.       Sex is meant to be a sacrificial act of love.

Yes. Sex is fun, enjoyable, and feels good. But life happens and sometimes there are days when you don't feel like doing it. If I'm not in the mood, but my spouse is, what am I going to do? Reject him? Think about myself and not his needs? Obviously there are times when we can say no and that is okay, but overall it is an opportunity for a husband & wife to serve one another. And when two people are choosing to serve and please one another, sex is much more enjoyable. Too often people approach sex with a selfish attitude - thinking about how it will please ME and what I will benefit from it. There are also many people who use sex as a way of manipulation or control over their partner. But what if, instead, it was approached with the mindset of pleasing the other person? When we become the center of our world, life becomes dull and boring. On the other hand, when we choose to serve people, out of love, we experience joy and a fulfilling life,  and this includes sex with your spouse. After all, the bible does say “it is more blessed to give than receive.”

“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.”

1 Corinthians 7:3-4


3.       Don't believe the movies or music industry.

Sex is glorified in Hollywood. How many movies, TV shows, or songs have you seen or heard that are completely revolved around sex? These industries have glorified the act, making it an idol in our culture. Sex, just like anything else in our world will not satisfy the depths of who we are. Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. Sex is VERY important for the married couple, but our relationship does not revolve around it.


4.       Sex is more than just a physical high.

Many people only view sex as a physical pleasure and that’s it. But in reality, sex is a physical, emotional, and spiritual act. Sex literally bonds two people together. That is why it is so important to only have sex with a life-long partner within the context of marriage- as you are with your spouse, sex intertwines your spirits. It's a glue that builds trust and intimacy within a marriage. There are many people who seek after sex for the physical high, but then when it’s over they are left feeling empty inside. Like I said earlier, sex will not fulfill your soul and it is such a greater experience than just "feeling good".

For a more detailed view on this point, please take a few extra minutes to read this article below: 

5.       This last point is very important, and please, do not skip over it- no matter who you are, what you have done, or what has happened to you- Jesus Christ can redeem ANYTHING.

Whether you have made poor decisions in your past or recently, or if you have been sexually abused, Jesus Christ can and will redeem anything- if you let Him.

The God I serve is a healer. That is the point of what Jesus did for us- He died so we could be healed. He wants to set you free from anything that has tainted your spirit. If you open your heart to Him, surrender yourself, and seek Him daily, He will use everything the devil meant for evil and turn it around for good.

The enemy wants you to believe that you can’t be forgiven or whole. But Jesus already paid the price so you can be. Salvation is a free gift, it’s not to be earned, and it’s to be accepted.

Sex within Gods design is a beautiful experience. If it’s God’s plan for you to be married, I plead with you, keep Jesus at the center of your marriage. With Him at the center you and your spouse will be able to love each other well. If it’s God’s plan for you to be single, then embrace that. Know that His plan for you is perfect, and that He is the only One who can fulfill your soul. No relationship or marriage will be able to fulfill you completely. It is only through a relationship with Jesus that we are made whole.

Wherever you stand in regards to these views, my prayer for you is that you would accept Jesus into your heart, whether you never knew Him or maybe you’ve been in and out of following Him. He is a good Father and has nothing but good things for you. Trust Him today, with your life and future. He will lead you down the path you we’re designed for, and nothing else in the world will be able to compare to it.